every now and then when the image of him smoking pops into my mind,i'll still get scared eventhough its already a fact...and i've seen him doing that with my own eyes..sometimes its really hard to belief..i used to have so high hopes upon him,so much expectation has been put on him..suddenly one day u saw him doing all the things u never ever thought that he will do...sad to say this but its damn disappointing...i had nitemares bout it..its scary to think bout stuff like that..but what and who am i to say?i mean even his family says nothing bout all of that...so..who am i to say a single thing??but whatever izit...i'll still take his words for it...every single time i see him smokes,it felt like my heart just being crushed to a million pieces over and over again...but after a minute also when i've managed to calm myself down, i just somehow dont feel the pain anymore..maybe i'm already numbed from all of this..i just couldnt feel much pain ever since everything that happened..or am i too used to it til i dun feel it anymore...every single day i keep reminding myself of what that had happened the week before..n its really a great big lesson to me..and i know i shouldnt make that mistake anymore..its like all of it had been tattooed on my heart all over..no matter how hard i tried to ignore all of it, a scar will always be a scar,which will never fade even as time passes...
i'm so looking forward to this coming weekend and for the next week..will be going back to cheras on wednesday,will be having vocal class on thursday..then bi will come bring me over to his place to stay..good also la..well get to cook for him coz his grandparents will be away for quite some time..and i get to be away from my family...i seriously dont need them to keep reminding me that i'm poor..well not literally poor as in no money to eat or what..just dont spend on the unnecessary stuffs..yea wtf la..at one point she kept remindng me not to simply spend and all...even have to save on my necessity...and at another point she's there to spend money buying clothes,chanel and burberry...wtf...so she's asking me to save so that she can shop outside??i mean please la..look at ur own wardrobe...and fyi,her clothes has been dominating all the closets in this house..including mine..when i've been away for few weeks coz i was bz studying and all in cheras..and when i got back i opened my closet to find that half of it is full with her clothes...and she's still keeps on buying more and more..every year....i seriously need to get away from all of this...seriously i need a break...to go partyin or somethin..enough of complaining bout that issue. following week will be TXN already..which means bi will get even more bz...maybe i can ask rui to go TXN there to teman me..walk around,catch up with each other..she's not doing that good lately..bi will be very bz during TXN...see how la..if not i'll be staying at his booth most of the time..maybe i can bring my harry potter with me..hahaha
No comments:
Post a Comment