Days Without You

1st nite...
still trying to let the fact kick in...we had a talk..i knew u tried so hard to make me not feel to upset bout it...thanx...

2nd nite...
i slept well. coz i knew that the next day once i open my eyes...i'll be able to see you...but i woke up earlier than i planned to...and those 2 hours are really hard to pass...i forced myself to practise piano...but all i ever played was rubbish...i slammed the piano shut...and went to focus on the internet to stop myself from thinking too much...anxious to meet you...coz i dunno how things will be like...last time it was those butterflies making turns and all in my stomach...now...its coz i dunno how to treat you as my special friend...i dun even dare to look rite into ur eyes anymore...things are not the same as i thought it would be...

3rd nite...
i came back to cheras...made plans for today...i practised my violin and piano...i've planned out something for u..and i hope u'll like it...i bought some alcoholic drinks...i opened it up..drank it real quickly...while playing the comp...finally i slept at 4 something...my most reliable drink that would provide me a good nite sleep...didnt really work out...it just wont kick in to my systems...i went to bed anyways...suddenly awake but this sudden pain in my chest...couldnt breathe...its been days i'm having it every now and then...since the day i'm no longer ur ling...tried to tell you..it hurts...but u told me that it was just coz i havent been sleeping enough...i woke up...hugged the soft toys u gave me...real close to me...grabbed my hands real tight til it hurts to direct the heartache away to another place...and i dozed off without knowing...

i cant promise u anything rite now...but all i can say is that i'll try my very best to be a happy person in front of u...even if i'm not...coz the last message u left me...saying that its suffering for u to see me like that...this is what u think its best for us..thats why we're doing it...so to make things easier for u...i'll try to act happy infront of u...i'll try..although in the end i know i'll cry no matter what...for that i wanna apologize to u...for making u see the worst of me...