in less than 6 hours i'll be having Orchestration finals...followed by the listening exam...a break and vocal class...and Modern Band Concert at night..and movies after that...
i've read thru all that i need to know for exam despite missing much of the lectures and quizes..hmmm hopefully everything will go well 2mr...
currently watching Lipstick Jungle season 2...and i found myself really caught up it all it's emotions...maybe it was something i could really relate to myself...the storyline is just so realistic but at the same time abit impossible...
suddenly felt something i havent been feeling for a long time..have you ever went thru something..a phase in life where u've practically thrust ur life into the hands of the one you whole-heartedly trust..thinking and knowing that he's the one...and suddenly things turned ugly...and things just changed from then on...and slowly u found out that he's not even close to what you're expecting or even knowing...and u felt extremely betrayed...that you could have done something worse to make him feel the pain that ur going thru...
pretty things doesnt last forever..what doesnt kill you will only make you stronger instead..i almost forgotten how much pain i've went thru to pull myself thru the huge mess that you've left behind..picking up broken pieces..bit by bit...patching things up...mending my wounds so that i could be well...
sometimes i'm just saddened by that fact that how much i've changed that i'm no longer myself anymore..saddened by the fact that u've made me the person i'm now...yes stronger in a way...but no longer put the trust in anyone anymore, but myself...its really sad you know...living a life without expectations, hopes...everything seems happy, not too upsetting...everything seems okay and close to perfect from the outside...scared to be disappointed...scared to be hurt again..it wasnt easy to start everything afresh...
people forgive and forget...well not everyone..but at least i do...sometimes i just find it hard to make people understand...what are the reasons for my being...do they even care?do they understand?do they even hear you out in the first place when ur trying to explain urself??but no matter how hard you try to...people are just ignorant...so why bother explaining in the first place??is it that important to have people agree on every single thing you do?
end of my rantings...gonna hit the sacks now...
good morning all humans...
thank you those who love and loved me...
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