Sometimes its as though we woke up at the wrong side of the bed, and today is one of those days. I couldnt tell what was wrong, but all i know was that i felt horrible when i woke up. I skipped my practise this morning, losing the chance to play on a grand, and chose to sleep in. Only woke up around noon, and finally decided to drag my ass off to school after munching down a double choc muffin with a glass of milk.
Only practised for 2 hours plus, managed to covered whatever i planned, but i was upset at the fact that i couldnt rehearse with my accompanist. Competition's drawing near and it kinda gets on my nerves, having not rehearse the 3rd movement of the Mozart K488 with Johan.
Came back after practise, felt worse and i seriously do not know why! I couldnt even fake a smile. Forced myself to chat, but i couldnt be bothered much, really. Sometimes actions are just done out of courtesies, and today was one of those times. I feel bad for it, but i cant be bothered? I know i'm difficult to be handled today, feeling down no matter what.
Finally, it snowed here in Birmingham. After living for 24 years, my very first time, i've witnessed and experienced snowing. It was pretty, and the presence of them actually lifted my spirits. I was happier upon seeing snow. I know i'm silly, like a small lil girl got a barbie doll for her birthday.
Until you, said something. Now, why do i still feel i'm the only who cared about the distance and time? Maybe i've put too much thought in it...Not knowing what will happen, not having a plan, is the worst feeling ever, for me, at least. Alas, i fnally know what is wrong with me for the past one week or so...Insecurities been staying within me, for the past one week, and it is slowly eating me up.
Thank you, for your kind and truthful words. I've always blinded by pretty lies that i made up myself so that i'll feel better and happy all the time. Silly me. =)
今天的我，很不开心。
Nobody asked, they told me instead.
As though anyone cared...at all...
Only practised for 2 hours plus, managed to covered whatever i planned, but i was upset at the fact that i couldnt rehearse with my accompanist. Competition's drawing near and it kinda gets on my nerves, having not rehearse the 3rd movement of the Mozart K488 with Johan.
Came back after practise, felt worse and i seriously do not know why! I couldnt even fake a smile. Forced myself to chat, but i couldnt be bothered much, really. Sometimes actions are just done out of courtesies, and today was one of those times. I feel bad for it, but i cant be bothered? I know i'm difficult to be handled today, feeling down no matter what.
Finally, it snowed here in Birmingham. After living for 24 years, my very first time, i've witnessed and experienced snowing. It was pretty, and the presence of them actually lifted my spirits. I was happier upon seeing snow. I know i'm silly, like a small lil girl got a barbie doll for her birthday.
Until you, said something. Now, why do i still feel i'm the only who cared about the distance and time? Maybe i've put too much thought in it...Not knowing what will happen, not having a plan, is the worst feeling ever, for me, at least. Alas, i fnally know what is wrong with me for the past one week or so...Insecurities been staying within me, for the past one week, and it is slowly eating me up.
Thank you, for your kind and truthful words. I've always blinded by pretty lies that i made up myself so that i'll feel better and happy all the time. Silly me. =)
今天的我，很不开心。
Nobody asked, they told me instead.
As though anyone cared...at all...
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