Tuesday, October 24, 2006

so so so long.......

always see my frens so "rajin" write blog..at 1st it was kinda fun...but as time goes by..i start to get lazy and have been loaded up with assignments,choir concert and all...now having a short holiday...deeparaya holidays...didnt really like it...coz holidays means i'm stuck at home with houseworks and my parents...although can still go out...but i find that when i'm staying at hostel..i have more freedom..can go out whenever i want without telling anyone..its not that i dont wanna let them know...as if they will let me go out...haha...and one more thing..dun really want to lie to them..its not that i want to do so..but i have no choice...not all parents are open minded to le their kids have bf or gf nowdays...really dont know whats on their mind...i'm not really young ad..18 years old..but i'm not allowed to hav bf til i'm over college...at least that was what my mom told me..but who would be so "obbedient" and actually do as their parents said rite...sorry to them..they cant accept it...not that i dont wanna let them know...aihz..well my bro said that my existing hp still in tiptop condition..need not to buy a new one anytime soon..guess i'm still stuck with it..too bad for me..i'm not like those rich kids where they can change their hp just like changing their clothes..those gadgets arent cheap...not everyone could afford it..well..i should say that i'm one of those lucky ones..to have a hp..compared to those really poor kids somewhere out there..so i shouldnt be complaining anything rite...but humans are beings that are hard to please...u give them one cm,they want one inch instead..humans are greedy..no doubt bout it..
stuck at home really sux..i find that i didnt even miss my home,not even a lil' tiny bit of it..i just come home every weekend for the sake of washing my clothes..thats all..hostel's bed is more comfortable than mine at home..so please give me a reason why i should miss my home...oh yea there's another reason..staying at home means i'll spend less...and i'll have more extra money by the end of the month..but ever since i started college..my spendings has been more than what i get for my month expenses...trying so hard to save money..but there'll always a devil side of me..asking me to buy this buy that...haha..well..i'm a shopaholic..a poor shopaholic..haha..sounds sad case rite..well it really is and it sux..aihz..
ever wonder that u know what kinda person u are..then suddenly one day when ur exposed to something new..u found that u love that thing so much but its like so not u to do those kinda thing??thats how i felt lately...i always thought that i'm just another plain gal around..like music,being a goody goody girl and tries her best to study well and score good results just like how her parents wants her to be..but i found out that i love exciting things..speeding in a car, go clubbing..dance hip hop dancing..sings...i thought i was hallucinating stuff..but i find that i really like music alot..before i enter college..i was wondering if i will just give up one day when i find out that that wasnt what i always wanted..my lecturers told me to change course coz they find that i dun have what it takes to be a musician...but now..i enjoyed all my choir classes..although sometimes it sux..i love to sing..i like it alot when i have the violin on my shoulders, my heart telling me to play all those beautiful notes and music..now i already found what i trully want...music..once,my relative asked me to consider becoming a performer..like those famous musicians thats goes around the world to perform on their own solo concerts and stuff like that..i think thats really cool..but i dunno where to start..my bro's fren,so happen to be my senior in college..got the contract as the strings coordinator for david tao's concert in m'sia..which happening this saturday...its really cool u know..i always admire people that plays music..they look so charming playing their instruments..strutting their stuff on the stage..totally cool..how i wish someday i could be like that...haha..well i just love to day dream..hahaha..hard work does pays off..i should start working harder to get to my aim rather than just sitting around day dream bout my future..haha..
the other day when i was at my baby's place..we'd mentioned bout when can i bring him home to meet my parents..god i really wish that parents would be understanding enough for me to have a bf..its not like when i hav a bf i'll neglect my studies..well i got a few As in my last sem's finals..aihz..i really want them to know bout my baby..they've met him b4..but i bet they dun really have good impression on him..but dont judge a book by its cover..he's really a sweet,caring,loveing and understanding guy..although he didnt do well in his studies in secondary schu..but now he's going after his passion..art...god bless everyone with at least one good point..for me its music..for him its art..just hope that my parents could be understanding enough..ask me to bring my bf home to meet them..i'm really tired of the days that me and my baby think of all ways and all lies to tell my parents so that we can go out together..i sux u know..aihz..god please help me...aihz..

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