Greatness

Dunno what to do now so decided to blog a lil...feel like sleeping but dont want to..dunno is it coz i'm used to sleeping late..even when i'm tired i'll still online or watch pps before going bed...how unhealthy..but there were times when i just came back from work and just crash on bed...thats when u know i hit my limits...hhahaha..like today...finished teaching at 5.30pm..but it was heavy rain..so decided to stay back awhile, same time to "po pet" with my lady boss...like hanging out with her..she's cool..as an employer..also a cool mom to her kids..damn funny la the whole family..thats why so far that is the place that i love to work...coz i'm happy working there..left MV around 6.30...reached home at 8pm...due to rain..everywhere was trafic heavy...and by the time i got home i'm so moody and exhausted..i unload all my things and crashed on my bed...didnt even went out for dinner so i asked my mom to tapao for me instead..so i had my dinner around 9 something..lolz...

almost done with my unpacking and settling back at home...just very lil clothes left to be decided if i still wanna keep them or give them away...and there's still an ikea bagful of books and whats not...sitting in my attic...sien everytime i see it when i come out of my room..will tend to that later..now my room's not that messy compared to few weeks ago..but i still have many things lying around in every corner of my room..now i just only can wait for my mom to take away her clothes from my wardrobe so i can arrange my things properly...and to buy cabinet if i need more..speaking of which...the new build-in-wardrobe has been fixed on today...but still need some finishing touches..will be done on monday..and still need a few more days for the smell to go away before able to put in anything inside the huge wardrobe.when i say huge..it is...its like i can play hide and seek by just hidding inside the wardrobe..and soon some of my performing dresses will be staying there coz my wardrobe is not long enough to fit them in...then next thing to worry about are my shoes..i have MANY MANY pairs of shoes!!!!!! and mom said next time my shoe rack will be in the attic...good and bad..coz there'll be my private shoe rack, storing only my shoes..but i'll have to climb up and down to take the shoes la...but heck..dont care la...hahahha...


talking bout greatness in my life...work has been better than i've expected..employers have been very kind with me due the amount of leave that i'll be taking in this coming two months...lolz..coz next weekend i'll be attending a Choral Symposium Workshop in KLPac together with few friends of mine...and end of the month i'll be going up to Terengganu to attend Bi's bro's wedding...So there's already two weekends...and i'm working on weekends..so i already found people to replace my classes for me...and then in the following month, I'll be away to Philipines to participate in Asian Youth Choir..something like a camp i supposed...held annually in different Asia countries..and i'll be away for about slightly less than two weeks...so now i'm really worrying about my classes...well its actually a good news to me..accepted into AYC2010. things has been going quite well for me...apart from getting flying colors for my studies...hopefully everything will be better and better and better...=)


I think i'll be rather busy til September...having vocal competition, vocal and violin exams coming up, concerts, and AYC...sure will be another interesting year for me..=)

I feel really really bad from taking money from others so that i could participate in AYC in july..but thats a really good opportunity that i shall not miss...sigh...a million thanks to my parents and Bi for sponsoring me for this trip...to make everything possible for me..

Btw..lately i've been window shopping alot...what to do..no money la..super broke coz i've spend alot on books...hopefully this coming month will be better..lolz..i think i'm in love with Topshop and Zara...LOVE LOVE LOVE their clothes~~~!!!!!! especially ZARA...the heels and clothes~~~!!!!!!!!!! everytime i went in i'm sure to spot at least a few items that i would really die for...on Wed, after teaching in Hartamas, me and Bi went over to MV..coz he got gig there so i went kai kai abit while waiting for him...Bi gave me money to shop...I went into ZARA..and omg...the heels...fab to the max!!!! and i've spotted the nicest nicest, prettiest Maxi Dress on earth..talking bout good quality fabric and the perfect cutting and fitting...thats a dress that i really would die for...hahaha..but its way way expensive...u know la..i'm super "kiam" when it comes to shopping..you wont see a designer tee in my closet..coz thats a huge NO No for me..haha..people who dont really know me will think that i'm a rich gal, everything on me are branded stuff...Sorry to disappoint you.. but u are WRONG~~!!!! i have ciplak things..many in fact...ahhahaa..the most expensive bag that i own is a replica Burberry bag...Rm250..and god knows why on earth did i spend so much on a fake bag...i was stupid back then..but i tell you..even its fake.. it's really good in quality.. leather handles, and the fabric was really nice and tough...i've been using it for two years straight..that was the only handbag that i used for a very long period of time in a long stretch...and til now..it still look like new...although it had a few food stain..water stains from rain and i-dunno-whatelse...but it still look pretty new..hahahaha...the second bag that i've used a long time was a mustard yellow Hobo from Vincci...or Padini..whichever la...that bag...went to Korea and many more places with me...just that as time pass i have more things to carry around with me and that bag could no longer hold all my necessities..and that pun cost less than RM90...hahhaa..then now the one i'm using now is a Tote from Charles and Keith...so far my fav shop for heels and bags..i got it from bi as a Valentines day pressie...even though its not cheap..but the quality isnt that good..compared to the replica Burberry..less than half a year, the pvc or skin or whatever are torn from all of the edges...quite heartache lo..i've just been using it for less than half a year...is it coz i'm too careless, didnt really take good care of the bag?? sigh...the most i've spend so far on heels is a pair from Charles and Keith as well..well coz i needed something thats not too feminine nor too tough...something neutral so i can match with all of my outfits..that costs me about Rm100 plus...thats the most expensive pair that i own...yes i may have many pairs of shoes and heels, but the charles and keith one is the most practical one..lolz...quite comfy considering the height..well coz its a pair fo wedges..lolz..

lately been wanting to buy a Longchamp..still thinking if i should..well the price is still affordable la...so i just need to save some money first before considering on spending on what...lolz...well..i'm back to online shopping again...lolz..dunno why.suddenly got the mood and i've seen some nice clothes on blogshops...and the price is acceptable..well i'm Kiam..i admit..hahaha...btw...i've finally got a pair of leggings...for RM20 only!!! from cotton on..lolz...the perfect one that i've been looking for...sometimes i really love Cotton On..u'll get suprises shopping there..hahahah


k la..i think i wanna watch a lil bit of PPS before sleep..lately i've found some nice series to watch..Gossip Girl sien d..always so dramatic..Desperate Housewives pun didnt really follow d dunno why...been hooked up to Taiwan 女人我最大，饭团之家，and The Good Wife...a some Hongkong series as usual...Thursday night been watching 饭团之家，cried so much til my eyes were swollen the next day...hahahhaa..its funny and touching la..hahahhaa

ok bye...
*abrupt end*

Dont Care Anymore

Sometimes it just makes me wonder..why do i care so much bout something when someone else even care much...i tried my best to do things to accomodate so both parties will be happy bout the outcome..and what i get in return? i never asked for a moutain of gold or whatsoever for what i have done..but just simply allocate time for me...sometimes its really upsetting..that one rather go do something else which will benefit him on money wise, rather than to accompany me, watching my rehearsals...and on the other hand, i was there every week, i tried to be there as much as i can coz i know how much it means to him...even though i have nothing to do there but just sit and wait for time to pass...coz thats one of the ways we can get to see each other more...so thats something i did for us...and sometimes i really wish that i can have someone next to me, just accompany me half a day or something...but it never did happen...money comes first, other priority comes first...i tried not to end up both of us living our own lifes with no common places between us...but i guess it wouldnt be long til that happen...yes i am selfish in a way that i hope i can have more time with you...but i guess we didnt have that same thinking and opinion...


i really find it pointless sometimes to say something out, which in the end we'll only end up fighting, as it is not worth it at all seeing the fact that we're meeting up lesser and lesser each time...might as well i just keep quiet, you continue doing whatever you like, and i try not to be bothered by it, and try to spend more time doing my own things rather thinking all ways all the time on how to meet up as often as we can...coz it seems to be kinda useless and fruitless..and i'm only experiencing disappoinment over and over again..but i keep quiet...coz its not up to say what u can and what u cant do..what you should or shouldnt do...

so..i'll just keep quiet....

wonder how long rainbow will last...
好景不长在。。。

Bursting flames of Stress...

hmmm..first week of my new life..nothing too different, except the fact that i'm just no longer a student anymore...what makes it more real for me is when i went to uni to complete and send in the "Completion Form" yesterday, they took back my student I.D. , which means i can no longer enjoy students rates tickets...kinda sad la...but what to do...the most challenging part is the teachings on mondays...well i guess it was rather alot of info to cope with coz all are sitting for exams, but not ABRSM board, instead its Triniti board, which i totally know nuts bout it..but thanks to a few new student, they tell me what and how the previous teacher teach them so i can continue the progress...and i really wanna thank the previous teacher who taught them...thank you so much for the student progress report that u have made for me..i makes taking over the students an easier task...but still i think i dont really know how to handle the special student..well its my first time experiencing this..and i really wish i can know how to cope with it as soon as i can..so monday is coming again..i'm scared...really...hahaha...

okay..actually i wanted to talk blog about something two weeks back..well i was really busy with my grad recital..and lets recap..things werent that pretty back then when so many things happened at a time..its a lil too much to take at one time..let alone digesting it and solving it...i think i was in a huge deal of stress, talk about high level of stress that i was coping at that time..so right after my recital..i had to rushed over to Hartamas to teach, then rushed over to Chinese Assembly Hall for concert rehearsals...that day was really a crazy day for me..no time to stop and think or look..just keep going and going and going...imagine i had bi tapaoed maggi goreng for me around 4 something..but i only had the time to eat in the car around 6 something while on our way to the rehearsals location...and i think since there i started to let loose..then i started to feel that my throat itch..and the next thing i know when on the way home from rehearsals...i fell sick...flu, cough, throat ithcy, fever...everything...but i thought it was just the aircond that made me feel sick so i didnt bother much that night..the next day..went out with Chloe and bi to kai kai and lunch...you can basically see my sick face...and i almost lost my voice...at such a crucial time that i have concert that night and the next...i took panadols to suppress the sickness..and went for the concert..at first i decided not to perform coz i have quartet the next day...weighing the importance..but in the end i felt better and so i went for it...but after concert ended..i was sick..i guess it didnt went away..what went away was the panadol effect...so my frens got me something to eat coz i didnt take dinner due to the late lunch and fever..i only had a butter bun, marble cake and milk...and i went to bed early while they went supper...and Jo was so kind to give me her bottle of honey..i need to have a good throat to be able to sing that night...and chloe kept making me honey drink...and she made me down 500ml of it at one go..hahaha...so the next day..bi was upset with me for not wanting to go to the doctors...but in the end i went coz i didnt get any better..after med i rested awhile before going to the concert venue...i felt better..but throat wasnt any good...i tried my very best to sing...i couldnt hit the right pitch..i'm outta pitch for the first time...and no voice..but i hope it was ok...mom brought her ex colleagues and the family to support...was extremely happy...and bi...why you tell my mom that i was sick...so overall it was alright..

then the next day gotta teach the entire day..so was on sunday...after teaching..i came back home.pack up some stuff..met up with my now employer...then off i went..to Terengganu...i swear to you sunday has never been better that day...i loved it...

you gotta handle your stress carefully..suitable amount of stress will drive you to success, but over stress only makes you break down...i'm sure everyone of us will have our own stress, things to be worried about that need to be taken care of...but do find time to unwind urself..destress...afterall..we're humans..not robots...we'll break down one day if we dont let loose..


p.s.: thank you so much to Jo, Chloe and Simli, especially Bi for taking care of me when i was sick...=) love you all..muahz..=D


good day everyone...=)
more working days for me...wish me luck..=)

Delusional

i think is a come back of me blogging once again...maybe this is a sign of loneliness, where i got not many people around me at all times now, especially frens..being at home now feels weird...normally for the past four years, i'm only at home on saturdays and sundays...and by sunday night i'm usually back to cheras..and every monday would be dreadful to me coz having to wake up for class in the morning...and monday kicked start yet another week in uni...that was the past...and now all i can do is reminisce all of it...it aint gonna happen for me anymore..unless i get a chance to further my studies in the future..of which i think it'll be even tougher having close to no familiar people around me...back then where going to school is almost a bad experience for me..simply of me being lazy to drag my ass to school, and wake up freaking early every morning..back then i was still thinking.."gosh...how many more years do i still need to have this kinda lifestyle..." back then i was stupid enough to wanting to get out of school and start working..earning money...and now..after 18 years of formal education..i'm officially a working adult...

still trying to get used to this new phase in life..i've been too comfortable with my surroundings for so many years..and now its time to get my lazy ass moving..to earn a living so i can make ends meet...dont even dare to think about having extra money to spend..i think i'll be a successful young adult simply by just having enough to make ends meet...that'll do for now..i still have classes now..just no longer in a school setting..and now i gotta bare all of the studying costs on my own...u wont believe that now i'm working my ass off simply just to try to pay for my classes..rather than to live a life...its tough but i still gotta start somewhere...just hope that it'll be alright..everything will be smooth-sailing..

its been two nights since i moved back to my own house..didnt want to sleep until i'm dead tired...if not i would just force myself to sleep, like last night...its different..its not gonna be the same anymore..having to wake up next to someone whom i wish i can see him at all times, like how it used to be for the past four months...it was a bliss but i didnt know things could be so hard..and sleeping and waking up to another day means i'm getting older..and it makes my life as a working adult something i couldnt not admit...yes i'm being purely delusional...this is a phase...life-changing setting..i'm still trying hard to accept it..let alone coping with it...

i kept thinking back about the small escapade that i had last week...how i wish i can have a longer holiday..to be able to rest well, enjoyed more before stepping into the society..coz once u do..there's no turning back..u'll need to be commited to whatever you do..no more days when you just dont feel like attending class so you think i can just skip it, stay at home or go out with frens...no more...if u skip ur work..its either u'll have a terible time sorting out the replacements for ur students..or u'll just have lesser pay...yup..my job is not a stable job...so i better pray super hard and do my best to teach with all my heart and effort, try my best to retain them as my students..or i'm dead..

well yesterday kicked started my new phase of life...that wasnt that bad as i worked at a place i'm familiar with...but later..i'm going to a new place, new surroundings, with new students and new people...just hope everything will turn out okay at least...new challanges today...just hope i can handle it nicely...and my very first time teaching violin..just hope i'll know what i'm doing later..*keep my fingers crossed tightly*

well on a brighter side..tomorrow i can go back to cheras..and i'll be there til saturday..thats at least something that i can look forward to...

okay...i'm going to try to prepare myself mentally and physically now..update later at night on how things goes for me...

ciaoz...