Sometimes it just makes me wonder..why do i care so much bout something when someone else even care much...i tried my best to do things to accomodate so both parties will be happy bout the outcome..and what i get in return? i never asked for a moutain of gold or whatsoever for what i have done..but just simply allocate time for me...sometimes its really upsetting..that one rather go do something else which will benefit him on money wise, rather than to accompany me, watching my rehearsals...and on the other hand, i was there every week, i tried to be there as much as i can coz i know how much it means to him...even though i have nothing to do there but just sit and wait for time to pass...coz thats one of the ways we can get to see each other more...so thats something i did for us...and sometimes i really wish that i can have someone next to me, just accompany me half a day or something...but it never did happen...money comes first, other priority comes first...i tried not to end up both of us living our own lifes with no common places between us...but i guess it wouldnt be long til that happen...yes i am selfish in a way that i hope i can have more time with you...but i guess we didnt have that same thinking and opinion...
i really find it pointless sometimes to say something out, which in the end we'll only end up fighting, as it is not worth it at all seeing the fact that we're meeting up lesser and lesser each time...might as well i just keep quiet, you continue doing whatever you like, and i try not to be bothered by it, and try to spend more time doing my own things rather thinking all ways all the time on how to meet up as often as we can...coz it seems to be kinda useless and fruitless..and i'm only experiencing disappoinment over and over again..but i keep quiet...coz its not up to say what u can and what u cant do..what you should or shouldnt do...
so..i'll just keep quiet....
wonder how long rainbow will last...
好景不长在。。。
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