Thursday, September 21, 2006

aihz...

bored...alone in hostel room...my room mate went out to temple ad..hmm..so sien...another week soon to past by again...time flies..ppl getting older...memories???what shall happen to them as time past just like a blink of an eye???yesterday was wednesday...here at taman connought got pasar malam every wednesdays...went down with yikling to buy vege...our vege that we bought last week all turned yellow n spoil ad...coz someone who's irresponsible didnt close the fridge door properly after using...so not cold then all the stuff melted n turned sour n smelly...such an awful sight..that day monday..we had our dance class again...learnt the dance movements for 3 songs ad...but abit of all 3 la..hehe..after the class my whole body aching...soon after i will loose all my flabby stomach n become toned stomach..good news for me..haha..
hope to get my new violin as soon as possible...fed up with my existing one...actually not mine also..belonged to my cousin sister..she lent it to me just to get me started before i buy my own violin...tried so hard to please everyone..but its just tough u know...aihz...ppl are always demanding..asking for more than what i can giv..sometimes just makes me wanna give up...fed up with my house...just fed up n dun wanna go bac to that stupid freaking house of mine...tried so hard to...but what did i get from them??nth..got scolded n nagged instead...i'm not asking for ppl to thank me or something like that...they just wont appreciate the things ppl do for them..always so demanding...ppl always say that guys n gals are now equal...but to me..it never is n never will....just so disappointed n heart-broken with them...giv them stuff during theri bday...just one thank u n then chucked it into a drawer in the kitchen...never ever look at it again after that day...i'm very doubtful that they even know that its even existed there...but when their beloved child giv them a simple card...they put it on my piano instead...sometimes its not that i wanna be over sensitive over small matters like that..but i cant help thinking that i'm just a piece of shit to them...
so i promised myself...after i graduated n found a job n a few months of steady income..i'll leave that freaking mad house...every month just giv them some money to keep their mouth shut...since they tot that they're so great n so honourable just because they giv me an education...f***k off i would say to u...u dun deserve anything from me except for ur filthy money...i've had enough of all that u gave me..n i dun want anymore...i know i'm better off without u...better stay with those that i love..like the to important "hims" in my life...go find ur own lil beloved child..he will treat u best like u think...coz he's ur only hope..thats y i'm gonna pity u when ur old in the future...really cant wait for the day that i can finally leave that freaking place...its not that i dun appreaciate the things u do for me...its the way u treated me all this time...never equal as u see him more perfectly than me...smarter n more usefull than me...i would remember the things u gav to me n dun worry...i will not treat u bad nor treat u good...its just nth more than that...i can promise you...

Sunday, September 17, 2006

really tired.....

Hmmm....today has been a very tiring day...a day full of house chores..aihz...so tired...this afternoon went out with my loukung n his mom for lunch...then hanged out at his house for awhile...was lying comfortably on his bed...suddenly i remembered that i didnt soak the towels that my mom asked me to last nite...so i waked my baby up to fetch me home quickly...before my mom finds out n i'll kena from her again...when i reached home...my parents were all at home..i thought they already went out to giant to do some grocceries shopping...i entered my house..getting ready being scolded by her..but to my surprise she didnt even mentioned anything..haha..well lucky me...they went out without me coz i had to wait fot my uncle to come over...need to help him with translating the piano score...wanted to rest after he left...but my 3 cats already sitting in the living room, waiting to be fed...aihz...work again...one was sleeping on my bro's bed..the other two were waiting for food...such good life they have i realise..dun need to work yet they get to sleep,play n eat n same time enjoy life..aihz...sometimes i wish i'd be like them..haha...walked in n out,up n down the hall into the house n out the house for god-knows-how-many-times....aihz..they're like the king n the queens in my house..i rather be like them..after that i did some ironing...then did some house chores..didnt had the time to take a nap also la...so tired...now translating the piano scores for my uncle..there are tonnes of it..aihz..n my eyes are going to close shut anytime now...seriously tired..but have to rest my eyes n mind for awhile..so i decided to write blog again...ppl would say that i dun hav a life..most of my time i spent on doing house chores n stuff like that...thats how i spend my time during every weekend at home..yup doing house chores...plus now my dad just hurt his finger n need alot of time to recover..so i gotta take over his part of the house chores,which i hated the most..sweeping n mopping the floor...aihz...but lucky thing my timetable for this sem is quite loose..so i'll have more time for myself during the weekdays in campus where i stay in the hostel..hmm...still wondering whether the lady wants to hire me to work at her boutique anot...hmm...wanting more cash to spend n save..has been spending like hell lately..bought shoes,tops,contact lense n solution..spend alot la..aihz..still owe my fren money for the chicken stock i asked her to help my buy the other day...haha...
hmm...gotta go continue with the scores..if not cant finish then cant go to bed fast...tired ad..aihz...my life sux at this point....

Saturday, September 16, 2006

bored...

so sien la today...aihz...skipped my office application class in the afternoon just now...coz i went to attend recital...then need to rush to go take my lunch before my gastric pain stikes again...hmm...by the way..cant hear what the lecturer said in class anyways...so go to his class is basically wasting time sitting there talking to my frens...so me n yikling asked eddy to help us take attendence..muahahaha...who ask that lecturer dunno how to teach...always say nonsense wan..then basically only talks to the ppl who sits in front of the class...aihz..too bad la then...dun really bother also...as long as i got attend the class at the comp lab n did my assignments then mah can ad lor...haha rite???coz all he teaches are all basic things like microsoft words n stuff like that....i also know ad la...just not really sure only mah...haha...
my dad will be having MC for this coming one month i think...hurt his finger during work yesterday...partially of his flesh from his rite hand middle finger's gone...."bitten" by the machine...hahaha...when i saw the wound...oh my god....shockingly disgusting...watt tatt!!!!!!...really...aihz..pity my dad la..suddenly like that...hopes he recover asap lor..hehe...
this morning had films and arts appreciation class with mr patrick lim...ahaha....this time we didnt watch horror film...instead it was a romantic comedy--Jerry Macguire..erm...dunno what to say bout the film la..but hav to read a journal bout it n pass it to my lecturer...lazy...aihz...how am i gonna crap bout the journal writting bout my feelings towards that movie...and minimum 150 words...aihz...yesterday wrote the journal for the horror movie--silence of the lambs also struggling ad la...hahaha...this time dunno how to start or to start with what word 1st...hahaha...well..me being lazy..haha..who cares anyway...as long as i pass my subjects with flying colourrs..mah can ad lor...hahahaha...

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

i love u the most...

Last nite i went to my loukung's hse to spend one nite there..we had such a great time with each other's company...we played uno,talked,chatted n watched dodgeball at nite...although didnt done much things but we had a great time...refreshing our love together...i found that i love him more than ever...he's the perfect guy any girl would want for themselves...a caring,loving n understanding loukung...who wouldnt want it rite??i know i'm lucky..to found him at such a young age..we have so much in common...we like the same candy,the same food,the same game....anything...although he's not really into believing in god...but god has brought us together..n we knew we are perfect for each other..just the way it is..he's so patient with my bad temper,always there when i needed him...he's just for there for me always..n love me so much for who i am...i know i all these while i didnt treat him as well as he treats me...yet he never even think to leave me...he keeps thinking ways to improve himself...he treats me like his princess...with alot of love and care...i know i'm not the best for him i know...but for him i will try my best to be...to treat him even better than now...to love him even more...he keeps telling me how much he love me..i regreted n feel guilty over the way i treated him last time when we 1st together..i hurt him too much..yet he never let go of me..thinking bac of the great times n memories that we both shared together is like a box of treasure to us..of which we both treasure alot...i just want him to know that..i love him the most...n i just cant live without him..coz he means the whole world to me..like my oxygen..i promise to u bi...that i will never ever forget bout u even after i die...n i love u alot...sorry for what i did to u last time...

Monday, September 11, 2006

what a day....

What a day 2day....after choir class...i had dance class...a new division under school of music..i tot it would be fun so i joined in...i love to dance...but dunno how to dance...just say that i dun have the talent at all...my bones all harden so it was quite a tough time dancing just now..we were taught by my senior...few sem older than me i think...wow she dances like a goddess...her body movements was so nice n graceful...today she taught us hip hop dance...dance movements not more than 3 minutes but it took us one n a half hours to learn the steps n movements...boy it was really tough...dunno the rite way to twist my body..so i dance very ungraceful...haha...but me n my frens really had a good time dancing...it was real fun..hehe..
After the class...i was so hungry...so quickly came bac to hostel to cook dinner...it was the 1st time i cook using microwave...haha..didnt know how to cook at all...coz all these time i'm used to cooking using stovetops...so had to trouble my frens...they helped me n teached me how to cook,soak n beehoon n stuff..haha..one thing i didnt like cooking in the pantry...the place is dirty n yucky...mayb i'm not used to it la...haha..my dinner looker weird..even doesnt seem appealing n tasty to other ppl...i was so hungry that i dun care...just start eating once i got it out of the microwave...doesnt look nice but at least still can eat la...i think it was nice..or mayb i was too hungry so any food look n taste delicious to me gua...haha...more cookings to come in this few months..gotta get used to the environment..haha..what to do..staying away from home n wanna save money at the same time..we really got not much choice..hahaha....what an experience...will never forget...=P

it started like this...cont'

After the event,i brought my hp with me to schu everyday coz we've been sending sms to each other....one day...he send me a sms asking me to be his gf...telling me how much he love me n that he's really serious with me..he knew i was really hurt in the previous relationship with another guy in my schu..i was happy then..i didnt expect anything 4m him as i'm already happy that he's willing to be frens with me..i was confused n scared n didnt know what to do...i really wanted to believe in what he told me...but i cant help wondering whether the words he said to me were real of fake as he was known as playboy...it was hard to believe that he actually liked me n asked me to be his gf...i didnt want to screw things up so i told him to give me one week's time to think about it...after that day...he would send me sweet sms every morning...telling me that he missed me n things like that...he was such a sweet guy.everyday i took schu bus home...n i was the last to get down from the bus..the 2nd last stop would be my fren's hse...which is opposite the guy's hse...one day when the bus stop outside my fren's hse...i was shocked to see him there sitting on the bench outside...with his dog,nicky..waiting to see him...once he saw he..he looked at me n flashed a big smile n waved to me...i didnt know what to do at that time...so i kinda waved stupidly at him...haha..after that...he send me sms telling me he's been there waiting for my bus to arrive so that he could see me for awhile,even if its just fora few seconds..what he said touched my heart...there was never a guy would say such things to me..i kept thinking bout what decision i should make..so i told him that i will give him a chance...see if things will work out between us...he was soo happy that he actually sweare to the god that he will treat me nicely...that he will make me happy....

Sunday, September 10, 2006

it started like this...

It started last year...as i remembered...around the month of April,2005; i've changed tuition centre due to be with my fren..it seems that the particular tuition centre had hav many good teachers....n since i was to sit for a major exam end of that year......It all started like this.......
I was then a quiet student in accounts class coz i didnt know anyone except 4 my fren...a girl...there was always a chinese guy..good looking,hav very strong features where once u look at him u will always remember his face,quite tall, always late for class(thats y it made him so obvious to the eyes of everyone in the class at that time)..sitting just behind me....i didnt know when i started to fell in love with him...i even made a stupid n silly promise to myself in my heart,,saying that i will n i wanna be his last girlfriend..i wanna tame him down...i know i sounded stupid..n even silly n foolish to said those kinda things...i always see him driving his car to tuition..always looking so cool...n always..there's a gal with him...which he always fetch to tuition classes...he was known for his many relationships with alot of gals in our area..every now n then at that time i can see him with different gals...some call him playboy...i didnt get any chance to talk to him...dun even mention to look at him properly...somehow once u look at him...u wont be able to take ur eyes away from him...i started to giving up on my hope to be with him..coz there was always so many girls surrounding him whenever he goes....that was until........
Around the month of June,2005, the tuition centre that we both attended was to held an annual event,Family Day...we were to set up some game stalls for that event...coincidently,our teacher arrnaged me,my fren n him to be in one group to take in charge of a stall...after that he got together so naturally...discussing bout ideas for our stall...use what material n stuff...one day after the event meeting..we 3 sat down 2gether n chat while waiting for my fren's bro to come pick us up n send us bac..he asked me if i have boyfren..i told him i'm single at that time..he didnt believe..i asked him too..he said he's single also..but of coz i didnt believe at all..coz i just saw him with a gal,which i believe it was his gf at that time just few days ago...we went to his hse to do that project rite after our account class...too exited...hahaha....but well that was how i felt...that day was the 1st time i went to his hse,his room,met his grandma n mom....things got quite well i would say..hehe...i was kinda shy at that time...so i didnt really talk much..after we decided on what to do for our project,we started doing it rite away...i even stayed bac at his hse to do that thing...since we both had a BM tuition at 8...so he asked me to stayed bac at his place to do the project n take dinner at his hse...we did the project in front of his hse.in the middle of the road..his grandma cooked maggi mee for us got dinner..we ate rite there...in the middle of the road...what an experience..haha...he tried to take pics of me...eating noodles...haha...well that was the 1st time we spend time together...after i did some finishing touching on our project...his grandpa send us to tuition...we both had to carry the big thing up to tuition centre..on of coz we were late for class...haha...his frens kept laughing at us...asking why we come to class 2gether n late for class somemore...
that was how everything started for the both of us......
On the event day...we were all asked to go to the rented community hall nearby for a rehersal n set up all the stalls n do last minute preparation....when i arrived at the hall...i saw him sitting with my other tuition frens...he was busy drawing the stall names for them....he did quite a good job with all the drawings n i was so impressed with his ability to draw...he certainly did drew my attention...haha...half way thru the rehersal...i was looking for him coz i need him to help me with some stuff...but i counldnt find him anywhere near the hall ...so i called him..i still remember he had jolin's song as caller id song...haha...he said he's outside with a fren n will b bac n awhile...not long after that...i saw him walking with his ex outside..coming bac from somewhere...shops i think...drinking n chatting...i was unhappy...coz i tot that my chance of being with him is getting lesser n lesser...but there was nth i can do coz i know i m nobody to him...so i just kept that feeling to myself...the event started at 2pm...we just did our part n took care of our stalls...suddenly there came a gal...wearing shades,short skirt n a polo shirt to our stall....he told me that this gal is a model...n i heard that that gal used to b his ex....again...disappointment rushing thru in me..all the gals that i saw with him look pretty to me...me..a plain jane..means nth to him..that was what i tot....2 hours later it was me n my fren's turn to take a break...so we pass the job to him n went to buy something to drink n same time to spend our coupons...i was holding a can of pepsi...walking around the hall...checking out the game stalls...but all were crowded with ppl so we went bac to our stall to play a few rounds...he asked for a few sips from my drink...so i passed the pepsi to him...he drank n passed it bac to me with a smile on his face...that moment i was thinking....wow..he look so cute,so handsome..n he just shared the same drink with me...that meant a whole lot to me at that time...he gave me some hope...i was happy at that time..cant help smilling all the way...hahaha...
After we were done with our jobs and were asked to close the stalls...he called me on my hp and asked me to go to the boncing castle n meet him there...i was wondering why he asked me to go there...so i asked my fren to accompany me to find him there...when we reached there..he asked us to join him n his ex on the bouncing castle n hang out 2gether....we had a great time there...we also managed to take a picture 2gether with a small kid...which we didnt know who's kid is that...haha..soon after that we were asked to go bac to the hall area to help clean up the stuff...he left not long after that coz his grandpa was there to fetch him...so i helped him to disemble our project so he could take bac his stuff...after we all done cleaning...all were free to go bac...
All the way bac to my hse..i kept thinking bout the times we spend 2gether at the event...the sweet memories that we shared...but i dun dare to think too much..coz i dun wan to be the one who's bertepuk sebelah tangan....
to be continue......