its been 2 months since i have such "productive" thursdays...thats if u know what i mean..hahah!!! party has subconsciously became my motivation...undeniably knowing i'll be hitting the club last nite, somewhat got me motivated into doing things better...in my past 17 years of playing the piano, i never once practised piano twice a day!!! yea sad to say it but its true..XD and seriously its been a while since i've been so productive...i tried my very best during vocal class, played my best during my major class, and actually loving all 3 of my instrument classes in a day...it has been rather taxing..but i love yesterday... it wasnt that bad at 1st when i thought bout it...maybe coz i've been stressing out myself abit too much lately...ahhh final year..what do ya expect, no??
MOS has changed slightly since the last time i went back in february...time flies...good ol' days of clubbing life 2 months back..where i partied every week for almost 2 months straight...yup missed those days...where soofun was back in msia...somewhat missed clubbing with them...its the company that counts i guess..no? lol last nite had some good times with frens...gossippin bout everything we can talk about...lol girls will always be girls...and please dun say guys dont gossip..coz they do!!! just like us girls..=) stayed for an hour plus at Darus after MOS...laughed my ass out til my stomach cramped and gosh it hurt like shyt...lol was thinking of staying up awake since i'll need to wake up at 7.30am for uni...but in the end..."accidentally" fell asleep...was more of napping actually...coz all i slept at 6am ish and woke up at 7.30am...went to uni and continued my napping sessions in practise room for half an hour more...and warmed up for my major class...has been a good and productive class this morning...learnt alot..masterclass after that...stayed awake throughout..came home and crashed on my bed til 3pm..luckily i managed to woke up in time to pack my stuff for the weekend...
yea i'm now back in shah alam again...figured out that i would be stuck in cheras with nothing much to do except for more practising and AMus paper...so i made up my mind and came home..this week has been rather weird of me for wanting to come home so much...missed my home...although its so warm here...the afternoon heat all trapped in the house..sigh...guess it has been all the pain that i've been putting myself through lately..and i need some space and family love to get myself recovered...
sometimes i still think about the past...has been like that for the past week...self inflicted pains...its time to face my fears, my past and those ugly memories..letting go is another issue as i've gone way past all of those "letting go" time...getting hurt and recovering from it is another ...and best part of all that its a process that hurt the most...yea finally gotten myself to admit all these shyts...who doesnt go thru shyts rite...been living in denial for the past 4 months...its a way of coping i guess...been so tough on myself...so now i'm trying to cut me some slacks...a sense of relieve..been very much of a danger to myself...=)
someone said that i've been so philosophycal lately...(does this word exist??did it get the spelling right?) been blabbing much. i tends to rush into something..for things to happen...bad bad bad...when things are not meant to be..you get what i mean? let it be...let it be...
hmmm there's so much i wanna share with you guys out there.dont care whether u actually bothered with reading my blog..if you do..i appreaciate it alot thank you...if you dont..its none of my concern anyways...love me hate me or what u have to say bout me...its ur choice.
thats all i wanna share for now...been neglecting my another diary for some time...coz lately i just feel like sharing my inner thoughts and personal feelings here...
thats about it i guess...
much loves to all of you.
muahzsmuahzs...
p.s.: still blasting on my songs everyday...it sure does make me feel better of myself...stay strong and fight!!!
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