烂。

i couldnt remember when was the last time i had a decent appetite, a decent sleep or rest..its been really tiring...sometimes i just sit there and wonder all the things that happened...and i finally know that there's no point to say a word anymore...i'm tired...i couldnt care about it anymore..

i'm 烂 maybe coz i just simply wont accept what people tells me...
i'm 烂 maybe coz i just wont listen to other people...
i'm 烂 maybe coz i did not appreciate the things that people did for me...
i'm 烂 maybe coz i take things and people for granted..
i'm 烂 maybe coz i never consider other's feelings when doing something...
i'm 烂 maybe coz i never make effort...
i'm 烂 maybe coz i never think that people are forgiving me all the times...
i'm 烂 maybe coz i sometimes care too much how people hurt me...
i'm 烂 maybe coz i only think about the bad things about people, and not their good traits...
i'm 烂 maybe coz i only know how to blame other people but not myself...

i finally realise that justice is not always there...there's been to many cases where justice is never served..bended truth...but then there's nothing we can do...i kept fighting for a fair treatment for myself, in the end i just got hurt...so now i give up...its not worth it anymore...
i'm always reminded to keep quiet and not say too much, to save myself from troubles..i thought i'm doing it..but it seems that i'm not, at all...
its difficult to find a balance point where you keep quiet, but not too quiet until you keep yourself alienated from other people...

maybe right from the start i should have just kept quiet and all of these would never happened...if only...but its good to know anyways...true frens are those that came and never left...
silence is gold...sometimes, being alone is not a bad thing afterall...