its only just a week away to my graduation recital...i should just focus extra hard on it and not let anything else distract me from what i should do...almost two more weeks and i'm outta this place..i dunno whether this is gonna be a good thing or bad...at one point i used to think that i'm gonna miss the people around here..and after what had happened..it doesnt worth that much anymore...maybe she's right..i'm putting all my heart in a thing, that i care too much...thats why in the end i feel so hurt...just like in gossip girl where chuck opened up his heart to his "mother" but in the end it was just a scam by his uncle jack to hurt him badly...
its comforting to know that i have someone to remind me that i'm not totally wrong..yes i admit that its my fault for shouting and yelling in the first place..but i've apologized for it..but right where the moment accusations are made on me..it was already too much..all i'm asking is to be fair to me..as it is fair to your part...
i did not want to say anything simply i know its pointless, and also try to minimize the impact...but since wounds are digged deeper...there's already no turning back..and this is what i'm trying to avoid...if only someone could have understand what i was doing...sometimes things are just better left unsaid...
its just a pity that such a frenship of 4 years ends up in this kinda situation...
lesson to be learn from this scenario, never open ur heart to anyone..until you know the person well enough that the person's worth you effort and heart..if not you're just gonna be hurt...yes i may be sound like a selfish person...but coz i worked too hard to please other people simply a sentence by my mom who affected me to be what i am today..thats why i am hurt so deeply coz i care too much...the level of commitment for each other is already different since the very first day..different perspective, different understanding...so i have nobody to blame for all that i've got...maybe this is what i'm asking for..this is what i've putting myself into all these while...
no matter what other people gonna say about this thing, i know where do i stand..and i know that it wasnt me who push the whole thing up to this level...people may spread things to my disadvantage, but i'm going to stand still to my point, my stand for dignity...
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